Gaia Lesson

He threw himself down on the ground. His mind was ablaze with rage. Each breath a new fury. Each beat of his heart, fresh searing pain. Sounds from him were white, hot, unintelligible groans. He beat the Earth with his fists until he could no longer lift his arms. He bit at the dirt and sand, desperate to make the Earth feel his anger. 

Eventually, his energy spent, he lay exhausted, weeping for himself and all he had lost. 

It was then that he realized She was there, looking at him. 

He tried to stand, stand and fight, but he could not. He tried to scream at Her but his breath would not come. He could only barely sit upright, so empty from his rage.

 Still She looked at him. 

After a time, he was able to hear the crashing waves above his pounding heartbeat.  She stood unspeaking, unmoving. Eventually he could breathe without flames in his chest. A whisper was all he could manage. 

“Why?”  “Why?”

New waves of pain now, from his innermost parts, cramping his body, sobbing he asked again,  “Why?” 

“ I have done more good than harm in my life. I have tried to help. I have turned away evil when I could, and tried to be better than I once was. I have tried to learn your lessons.”

“All I asked was to be left alone, to build my house in this place. To live my remaining days here, where the saltwater, sea-air, and sand meet.”

“Why, why can I not have this one thing? Have I not earned even that?”

Her gaze never left him. She stood listening to his complaint, to his plea. 

Finally, when he could speak no more She said, “All that you say is true. You have done as you now say. Yet in all of this you have failed to learn the first and simplest lesson. Your intellect and your ego have blinded you to it. Your actions, all of them, were born from your desires. All your victories, all of your deeds have been for your own sake.” 

“ There is one lesson and you have failed to learn it.”

His heart broken, Her words searing his brain, his will spent, he fell back looking up at the sun, watching the sea birds fly so easily. 

“Tell me” he screamed! “Tell me what this lesson is that I have utterly missed.” “Tell me” he roared!!

She  looked upon him, but now her expression was of sadness. “No”. 

It was all she said. 

Totally broken, he sensed She was fading. He realized that he would never see Her again and terror set into his bones.  Summoning his last shred of strength he stood, hands clasped together, head bowed low to the Earth. 

“Please, Gaia, please tell me what it is that I have failed to learn. Please. “

She turned back, facing him, moving directly in front of him. He could feel the breath of her words on his face. 

She looked into his eyes and said…

“It’s not about you. “