Gnarly Old Veterans

Today I am thankful for gnarly old veterans, well, one in  particular. Please, let me explain.  

Leaving the restaurant, I held the door open so he could  come in. He had to be 80 years old, all 5 feet of him,  hunched over one of those three-legged canes. 

 As he got next to me, I noticed his thread-bare, beat-to hell, “Go Army” baseball cap. Nestled between his C.I.B.  on the right, and his Purple Heart on the left, was his  Korean Theater Campaign Ribbon.  

As he entered, (which took some time), I started  wondering, Han River, Inchon, Kaesong, maybe Pork  Chop Hill or Heartbreak Ridge. He interrupted my thoughts  when he said, “Thank you, sonny”.  

Without a thought I said, “Yes Sir”, and it was as if I had  unleashed Hell. “Sir?!” ” Did you just Sir me boy!? Do I  look like an officer to you boy?!” 

Terrified, I immediately and automatically snapped to  attention (or as close as I can get these days), and before  I could stop my addled brain, it made my mouth say the  only words it could, “Sir, Yes Sir”!

He looked at me with two sparkling, grey, crystal clear,  razor sharp eyes, and started laughing.  

An 80 year old laugh is kind of a cross between a cough, a  gurgle, and a growl. This old war-horse laughed at me all  the way to his booth, knowing he had won.  

Meanwhile, watching him go and hearing that laugh, I  finally realized no one had said “At Ease”, so I was either  gonna stand there all day or take my lumps and leave. 

Those of you that know me know that I won’t be one upped and I damn sure won’t be one-upped by an ancient  war-horse with a three-legged cane, a crusty laugh and an  attitude. 

I went into the bathroom, re-washed my hands and plotted  my revenge. When I came out he was in his booth sipping  his iced tea while waiting on his soup. 

I found his waitress, without him seeing me, and paid for  his lunch. She was all, “that’s so nice of you bla bla bla.” I  replied to her that, oh no, you don’t get it, that old guy is  General Smith US Army Retired, he’s a big deal and very  famous. So when you refresh his tea make sure you call  him Sir, he likes that. “Oh wow, I sure will mister” she  excitedly replied. Good I said, and when he wants his bill  tell him it’s on the house & thank him for his service. “OK”  she said, all conspiratorial.

My revenge fully in motion, I made for my car most ricky tick, so I didn’t have to take an ass-whippin from an 80  year old warrior with a three-legged cane, a crusty laugh  and an attitude. Today I am thankful for gnarly old warriors.  Soldier on.