Elephant Grass

We all have routines. Some we like and some that we  don’t like.  

One routine that I love is, anytime I have my grandson  Jacob in the car, and we are headed to my place, I always  try to distract him at a particular location. Usually, there is  an area with very tall weeds and grass right next to the  roadway on the passenger side of the car. 

I do this every time he is with me. Obviously he now  knows what is coming, so I try my best to come up with  new ways to distract him from what’s about to happen. It  never works….. “I know what you are doing grampa, it  won’t work!” I do it anyway. 

On this particular attempt, after locking his window control  and rolling his window all the way down, I guess I may  have miscalculated a bit, because WOW did a lot of tall  grass get into the car! 

GRAMPA! STOP IT! (not to be taken very seriously  because he is laughing almost as hard as I am). 

WOOP…. WOOP….WOOP…. I look up to see red and  blue flashing lights in my rear view mirror.

This makes the child (grandson, not me) laugh even  harder. He is not afraid of, or concerned about police  officers being around. His entire life he has been exposed  to not only me, but also to my brother & sister officers.  

Once an officer friend of mine who neither Jake nor his  mother had ever met came up to him and said “You are  Jacob, aren’t you? I work with your gramps and see your  picture on his desk”. Jake is no stranger to the boys and  girls in blue. 

Anyway, I pull over and roll my window down. Jacob has  now taken command of the situation, and is mercilessly  giving me the business.  

Upon first contact, both the officer and I recognize each  other, but Jacob does not know this. 

The rest of the traffic stop went like this. 

Me: No officer, I did not intentionally drive off the road into  the elephant grass.  

Officer: Then why is your passenger laughing and saying  yes you did?  

Me: You see officer, every Saturday when I take him  home, I try to drive along the elephant grass so that it gets  him when we go by. 

Officer: So what you’re saying is every Saturday you  intentionally drive off the road into the elephant grass?  

Jacob: Yes! That’s exactly what he tries to do every week!  

Officer: Maybe, you should think about letting the adult in  the car drive, even though he’s only 14.  

Me: Yes Sir, thank you Sir.  

Jacob: Couldn’t talk because when the officer said that, he snorted soda out of his nose.